Okita's Date in Kagura's Bubbling Pipe
by CherryBlossomGirl22
Summary: In this fanfiction you will find: A mini Kimono, a kiss, a camel, a steak, a suit, a beat up Kondo, strong words, Matsudaira's despair, and a reason why no one gets payed at the end. - have fun ;)


**This is just a short one shot I wrote about this pairing after seeing episode 111 and reading "The Kidnapping of Kagura, or Okita's Jealousy" by DecidedlyPositive (which you should seriously check out by the way. It's great)**

_**I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it :D**_

**Love, Cherry**

**(I don't own Jack except for the plot)**

* * *

It had been quite the sunny day and although as a Yato she generally hid from it's rays this particular girl loved the evenings after the sun had already set but the warmth still lingered. She strolled down a lively street munching on a strip of Sukonbu she had just bought three little boxes of at a nearby store. She originally had only intended to buy one as she did practically have no money to speak of, but the clerk had been such a _-bleep-_ that she had had no choice but to throw random things at him shouting at the top of her lungs and somehow two additional boxes of her favorite snack had found their way into her pocket.

_'Gin-chan sure is a good teacher uh-huh.' _she thought.

Kagura was on her way back to the Yorozuya when she saw it. "It" being so weird, so out of place, and so unnervingly out of her realm that her mouth plopped open and the half-eaten Sukonbu fell to the ground in slow motion. On the other side of the street were a boy and a girl. Both were only a few years older than her. Both had light brown hair and were dressed rather fancy for this neighborhood. The girl wore a navy blue mini Kimono with fancy earrings and a necklace to match and the guy wore a suit and tie.

Kagura could only see the girl who now giggled very lady-like with her hand in front of her mouth. For some strange reason the sight of this woman having a good time annoyed the Yato girl to no end, but as soon as her brows furrowed the male part of the apparent couple turned around.

She hurriedly dove into a back road so that the Shinsengumi Captain would not see her.

* * *

Okita Sougo turned his head. He looked around the crowd and tried to find something while not knowing what he was looking for.

"Ne, Okita-kun, is everything alright?" the girl next to him asked.

He faced her again and upon seeing her stand with one leg behind the other, both hands folded behind her back with arms stretched (indubitably to make what little she had to offer in the front pop out), leaning forward a little and looking up at him, the captain of the first squad of the Shinsengumi put on his usual fake smile.

"Nothing, I just thought someone was watching me. Shall we go on?"

"Oh my god, how scary." she said while grabbing his arm and looking around.

He hated these kind of girls. Playing cute all the time while trying to be alluring and they were always so nerve wrecking while the screeched and scream fake 'Noooo's and 'Please don't, master's when being turned M – which usually took five minutes tops with this particular species.

They were walking toward their next stop and while she was chatting his ears off he contemplated why the hell he was in this mess in the first place.

A few days ago he had been minding his own business writing a book ("How to Kill a Hijikata in Two Steps or Less") when Kondo had approached him with an order from the director of the police himself: Matsudaira Katakuriko. The mission sounded fairly easy and very boring. Take Matsudaira Kuriko out on a date that would be worthy of a real lady.

Obviously the directors daughter had been dating around with quite the homeless-looking bunch. You know, the kind of guys who think they are cool and according to the dame's father this would turn her into "one of those hoochies" sooner or later. Sougo had been inclined to decline, but Hijikata emerged out of nowhere and pointed out that if the director was truly the 'God of Destruction' his daughter would surely be the 'Cause of Said Destruction'. So the captain sighed and begrudgingly accepted. Had he only known how spoiled this child truly was. Damn that Matsudaira!

But at least the director said he would pay for everything which Okita had used to get back at him a little when he took the 'hoochie-to-be' shopping.

* * *

Kagura did not know why she followed the couple, but she had and now she sat outside of a very high class restaurant watching from her hiding place how Okita and the mystery girl ate the most delicious food the Yato had ever layed eyes upon. She could basically smell it through the window. Just when she was indulging in thoughts of massive amounts of tender meat with rice and Sukonbu she heard voices in an alley close by.

She could only make out tidbits as she crawled closer.

"... Matsudaira-san,... quite dangerous ... Sougo ... daughter?" That was Gorilla-baka's voice.

"...that be?" laughed a voice foreign to her.

"... looks a lot... sister complex." That was definitely a very bored Hijikata.

Then there was a huge battle cry and some screams and sounds of many varieties and volume. Kagura rushed to see what happened. It was never something good when it involved these tax revenue robbers. She knew that much from her own experience. The Yato dashed around the corner and only looked at the scene for a split second before attacking Kondo.

"Stop harassing that poor old man!" she yelled while jumping on the commanders chest and beating him into a pulp. The man who had already taken a few punches from his superior was out in a second.

The furious girl stood up and wanted to continue beating her second Shinsengumi for the night, but he held his hand up and said "Oh no, please don't," with a cigarette in his mouth and in the most disinterested way that was humanly possible. He took his hands down when he saw that she did not attack immediately. "Mind if I take that baka with me now? You can take care of that other idiot. Much obliged." And with that he took Kondo and dragged him where ever.

Kagura turned around only to see the old man sitting unconscious against a wall. While she thought that this was Kondo's doing the truth was that she had kicked the God of Destruction quite violently when she had jumped Kondo and was actually the one responsible for his current state.

She went to his side. "Oi, old man? Hello? Wakey-wakey."

The red head was about to shake the living daylights out of him when he opened his eyes and looked at her a second later. "Where am I? Where's that baka and who are you?"

He had such superiority in his voice at that moment that Kagura stood up straight and put a hand to her forehead. "Kagura, queen of Kabuki-chou and member of the Yorozuya, at your service, sir, uh-huh."

Matsudaira stood up. Looking left and right he saw no sign of his underlings. They would have to answer to him later. There was a more current matter at hand. Suddenly he looked at the tiny female in front of him. "Did you just say Yorozuya?"

* * *

Okita sneezed. "I hope I haven't caught a cold." he mumbled to himself.

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

"Geez, how long is this gonna take?" asked an annoyed Matsudaira Kuriko. She stood at the exit of the restaurant and had not even been waiting there for thirty seconds. "Why do you want something to go anyway?"

* * *

"Ah, here they come, uh-huh." said Kagura to her new employer. She wore a detective's hat and cape, sunglasses (which were absolutely useless as it was getting darker by the minute), and a fake pipe that formed really cool soap bubbles when she spoke or blew in it. She held the pipe with one hand just like she had seen in Detective Korra.

"Do you remember the plan?" asked Matsudaira who was dressed just like she was.

"Destroy their date and 'make daddy look like the savior', uh-huh." she said standing up straight again.

The director grinned at the girl. "Right, little soldier. So let's follow them."

And while blowing their bubbles they did. Needless to say they attracted attention from some passersby.

The couple in front of them walked a few blocks until they reached a very weird looking stand with a camel lying next to it.

Matsudaira and Kagura hid behind a few boxes trying to stay in earshot of their targets. They heard Kuriko squeal "I've always wanted to fly on one of these during the night." and saw Okita scratching the back of his head and raising one eyebrow – the Yato girl was immensely jealous as she always had wanted to be able to do that – while stating "Oi, oi, a flying carpet? Are you sure? We'll have Disney on our asses if word gets out."

The girl next to him blatantly ignored this statement and had already started choosing a carpet that was to her liking and singing 'A Whole New World' completely out of tune.

When she had finally found a carpet she squealed a little louder and Sougo just sighed and payed the owner of the shop.

Kagura and Matsudaira discussed something in whispered voices and just when Okita told the carpet to fly ("They king of sadist commands you to lift of now!") Kagura stood up from their hiding place, stripped of her detective's gear and started running.

The carpet started to fly higher and higher but Kagura ran up a wall and jumped from houses on one side of the street to the other gaining on them and in the perfect moment she flung herself of a roof jumping as high as she could towards the carpet. When she knew she would make it she turned in midair to hit her target foot first. The next thing that happened was that the Yato sat on the carpet behind a self-proclaimed king while hearing the screams of a falling girl.

Kagura looked over the carpet's side to see that Matsudaira caught his daughter in a ballet-like jump. The girl looked up at her father. "Daddy?" and as he hugged her while telling her that "daddy" was here he gave Kagura a thumbs up.

Said Yato was overjoyed and waved while shouting "Pleasure doing business with you, uh-huh!" in his direction. That however got Matsudaira – who still held his thumb up – a hateful look from his daughter.

The red headed girl turned around and simply did not listen to the "I'll get you Yorozuyaaaaa!" from behind her. Kagura's focus had shifted to the person in front of her who was sitting annoyingly still with his back to her.

"Hey, how dare you act as if you don't notice me, you stupid sadist?"

Her target turned around and visibly relaxed as he sat down with one leg cocked and the other hanging over the edge of their flying vehicle. He loosened his tie a little before pulling it off and trowing it in the wind and unbuttoning the top of his shirt. "Ah, this is so much better. I felt like I was being strangled."

"And you will again if you don't tell me what you were doing with that stupid woman, uh-huh!" Kagura had taken a sprinter's stance ready to attack at any given moment.

"Now, now, China. You know I'm not a M and you really wouldn't want to knock this down, would you?" He asked suddenly pulling a still warm steak on a fork out of nowhere.

As if on cue the younger one's mouth filled with saliva ready to devour the delicious meat she had admired through the window at the restaurant. "But how?"

"I took one more to go. I had a hunch something like this would happen. With all the commotion you made it was impossible for me not to notice you," the emperor of the planet of sadists stated and then grinned evilly at her. "You want it?"

It did not take the girl even a second to respond and cross the space in between them to take a bite of the steak making both of them topple over in the process.

She did not care that she practically lay on top of him she only cared for the truly tasty food which she devoured as fast as Okita had anticipated. When she was nearly done he took half of the last bite into his mouth and as expected she took the other half without thinking about it and their lips touched quite roughly. Sougo's hand shot up to hold her head in place while she gulped down her part of the bite in shock without chewing at all.

The captain of the Shinsengumi used full force and his second arm to flip them both in Kagura's moment of confusion and pinned her down under him. He broke the semi-kiss and raised his head. The man atop the alien girl grinned manically and with his part of the meat between his teeth said: "You want this. Come and get it, China Girl!"

* * *

-the very next day-

"Where is that bastard Sougo?!" Matsudaira Katakuriko shouted while crashing through the Shinsengumi quarters bazooka in hand.

"What's up, Matsu-taichou?" asked the captain looking truly baffled - as baffled as he can look might I add – while being surrounded by not only Kondo and Hijikata, but also Kagura.

"Because of you my sweet girl... my sweet girl... she, she... my Kuriko is taking lessons from that perverted ninja at how to be an M!" the older man screamed out and pointed the bazooka at his subordinate. "Die, Sougo, DIE!" And with that the weapon went off.

The target moved his body slightly to the side effectively evading the lethal hit and started to explain the facts rather bored to the director "Well, you see," then suddenly turned around to face the Yato girl sitting on the floor with his nakama that special evil grin plastered on his face again. "every girl I date automatically turns M."

Another piece of Sukonbu dropped out of Kagura's mouth and everyone in the room looked back and forth between the two. Hijikata was the first to say anything. "Umibouzu will have a field day with this."

The Yato seeing what the sadist of the year had done jumped up and together with Matsudaira started chasing the laughing steak thief screaming "DIE, SOUGO, DIE!" at the top of her lungs.

* * *

**Now praise me and I'll send you a mental picture of any guy you want in a suit or a collar ;)**


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